Thankful

I spent an embarrassingly long time contemplating what to title this post. "Thankful" seemed the perfect word for how I'm feeling. Yesterday, my husband called and told me about the school shooting in Connecticut. The strong wave of emotion that has followed since then has really taken me off guard. I don't know these children or their families, so why do I hurt so badly for them? 

I actually feel very strongly against homeschooling, but even so - that was my first thought. In light of the mall shooting that happened not even an hour away from my apartment this past week, I've thought several times of not going to crowded public places anymore. But that's no way to live. I was fearful yesterday.

I'm so glad I have a loving husband to turn to. I'd been feeling particularly blue since finding out we weren't pregnant after another fertility procedure. But last night, we stayed up and talked about how thankful we are for what we have, the blessings we've been given. It put my life into perspective. 

This morning, I woke up with a renewed sense of thankfulness. 

I'm first and foremost thankful for my faith in God. Prayer has gotten me through so much in life. 

Second, I'm thankful for a husband that works harder than anyone I know to provide for his family, physically and emotionally.

Third, and not at all least, I'm thankful for our miracle baby, Ethan. We had NO idea how blessed we were when we were able to get pregnant with him. I'm thankful for his health, and that he is sleeping safely in his room tonight. 

Today, we spent the day together. In fact, Ethan didn't even get out of his PJ's. It was a wonderful day to regroup as a family - to enjoy each other's company. I remember how important it is to tell my husband and son how much I love and appreciate them. 

I've tried to make sense of this shooting, but that is impossible. However, I can strive to appreciate every moment with our small family.