August marks one year since our home study was approved. Last year this time, I sat anxiously by the computer, waiting for someone to contact us. I just knew we would spark up a great relationship with this special first mother, and that she would choose us (US!) to raise her child.
For the first few months, we had absolute silence. We got some advice from friends who had used LDS Services that it might be a good idea to advertise ourselves on some popular adoption websites. After doing so, we received quite a bit of traffic.
We came in contact with some really great people, and built some good relationships. Even though the adoptions never quite worked out, we are so glad to know these women. After several months of going at it on our own, though, we realized we needed to go through a reputable agency if we were to see any sort of success.
I did a ton of research - like, months of research on this! We picked out 3 agencies we were going to apply to. Then out of no where, an adoption attorney we keep in close contact with had several possible adoptions back-to-back. We put off applying to these agencies in order to be eligible for these local mothers.
First, we were not picked, then we were picked second (SECOND!), and then we were FINALLY picked for a baby that was already born. She was gorgeous. We did not meet her, but we met her beautiful mother. What a roller coaster. We really liked this girl, and felt we could strike up a meaningful relationship with her. However, her family was against adoption, and this adoption also fell through.
Not long after this, we were contacted by a woman up in Seattle who was pregnant with twins. We talked for a few days, and she agreed to meet with us. We were ecstatic. I'm always leery of people over the internet, so I was relieved that she was willing to meet so soon. We drove up to Seattle in a flurry, talking about buying a minivan and what it would be like to have twins (she was due in September). I was shaking by the time we got to her house, I was so nervous. I got out of the car to knock on her door, only to be told she did not live there. We had been duped - scammed. It hit me like a bullet. Who would do such a thing? I have no idea. All I could do was put my face in my hands and sob all the way to our hotel.
Because home studies are only good for a year, if we are to continue with adoption, we would need to update this month. Maybe you can understand that we have chosen to take a break for a time. After this year, and this summer especially, we want to focus on what we HAVE instead of what we don't have. Whether this is for 6 months, 1 year, 2? I have no idea. But right now, we just need to reset. It's been almost 4 years since we started this journey of adding to our family, and I think a little vacation from this particular path is just what we need!
Thank you to all who generously donated to our garage sale. You kindness is appreciated more than you know. And thanks also to all those who have supported us emotionally. We are so lucky to have such wonderful friends and family.