I am so excited, because today I get to unveil a project I have had in the works for a while.
About a month ago, I was searching the internet, researching adoption from all parts of the triad. That includes Birth Parents, Adoptive Children, and Adoptive Parents.
I realized I have quite a few people in my life that meet that criteria! I thought of how helpful it would be to have them all guest blog from time to time about their experiences.
This first guest blogger was one of the first people I met when we moved to Salem. I had no idea at the time, but about 8 months before we moved here, she adopted her 5 year-old son.
Andrea has been a great friend through this adoption process, and was one of the only people I counseled with when we were deciding if adoption was the path we should walk.
Did I mention she's a great writer?
Enjoy..
Adoption became a dream for me in 2002, when I was working in a home with neglected children. I fell in love with their youngest baby and realized that I could easily see myself scooping her up and never returning. I knew then that I had a heart that was soft and open enough to welcome someone else's baby into.
Adoption became a necessity for us in 2007, when we desperately wanted to grow our family, but my body refused to cooperate. At the time, we had 3-year-old daughter and I thought obsessively about all that she was missing in life as an only child. As I look back, I realize that she was fine and we were fine and everything was going to be ok. But, at the time, every month felt another insurmountable chasm between us and the noisy, boisterous family that I wanted to be.
We completed a home study through LDSFS and waited for the call. It came - twice - but both birthmothers decided to keep their babies. Good for them, extremely sad for us. In October 2007, a therapist friend in Utah told us about a little boy on her caseload that she thought would fit perfectly in our family. He was five, which was much older than we had initially considered, but we read about him and prayed about him. We felt positive, so we proceeded. The rest was a haphazard, rush of events...even now I feel dizzy thinking about it. We went to Utah in December to pick up our son - that first meeting was just about the most nerve-wracking event that I have ever lived through. I can only imagine how terrifying it was for him. He was this little person that had experienced so much chaos and was living in a group home with 7 or 8 other little kids. Now, he was being guided down a hallway to meet his new parents. It's a wonder that any of us made it through that. We left the state with him two days later.
Those first few days and weeks were so challenging. Imagine plucking a random child off the street and bringing him into your most intimate spaces. There were moments of joy, but many more of doubt, frustration, and sadness. My son says he doesn't remember much about that time, so I can't tell you what he was feeling. I hope that we will be able to unravel those feelings together at some point. One tremendous blessing: he came to us desperate for love and belonging. He wanted to be part of us. Our adoption was finalized in June 2008 and we were sealed in the temple a short time later. That was an incredible day and deserves a whole different blog entry.
Today, it's been six years. Some days, it feels like a week has passed. Other days, I feel like we have been working on solidifying our relationship for a lifetime. There are a few things I have learned:
*We saved our son from a group home, but he is saving us every day. Having him in my life is how I have learned Christ-like love.
*The bonds created during the early days of infancy and childhood are absolutely critical. I have had two babies since adopting my son and I have marveled at how much time I spend gazing, smiling, and cooing at them. My heart is broken that he and I don't have that foundation.
*Life is a series of miracles. We have only witnessed a few of them. Our adopted son is part of a bigger world and family, that we have yet to discover. He has a past, a heritage, and a destiny that we get the privilege of being part of.
I wouldn't recommend adoption for everyone. I wouldn't recommend parenthood for everyone. You need a sense of adventure, a love of mankind, and a habit of prayer. I am grateful that adoption is part of my life. I feel privileged and blessed to be part of my son's story, and that he now has a world of possibilities at his fingertips.
No comments:
Post a Comment