It's been a while.. a LONG while, since I blogged. I think I just got tired of it for some reason, which is ridiculous, because I love to write. I used to be GOOD at writing, but now I'm lucky if I write things coherently enough for others to understand :) So.. bear with me, I have something to say.
This year has taught me a lot about patience, about how we don't always get what we want WHEN we want it. From not passing the bar for the first time (Did I mention Billy knocked it out of the park the second?) and not getting other deep desires of our heart, I allowed myself to get frustrated and angry.. at God.. and other people who had what I wanted.
After taking the bar (the second time), Billy and I packed up and moved out to Utah so he could work on a film while we waited (and waited) for results. I was allowed much introspective time these past few months to look at myself, and figure out who I want to be. I saw something I didn't like - I was moody, semi-rude, snappy, and allowed myself to be jealous of others. Not cool, right?
I thought about how I used to be - I was always a positive, bubbly person who didn't sweat the small stuff. Where did that girl go? I made a promise to myself that I would find that girl again, and become happy and positive.
Then, something happened, I realized my life freaking rocks! I get to be a wife to an amazing man who loves me, and treats me with respect. I get to have the most beautiful little boy on planet earth! Sure, I don't have more kids, and that breaks my heart at times, but I have been blessed with him - which is more than a lot of people can say. My husband has a great career, and a great one to fall back on. And, we have great and supportive family and friends.
I found happiness, and life is great.
You are awesome Kera! One of my favorite people ever, hands down. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are so amazing! I love that you will write about frustrating times. Too many times blogs are only of the best moments, I love what you wrote, I think we have all felt that before, and you know that I look up to you for how amazing of a mom and wife you are despite not feeling great always! We need to get together some how! xoxo
ReplyDelete"my life freaking rocks"...i love it. love you kera!
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine you not bubbly! I'm glad that Kera is back :)
ReplyDeleteP.s.- E is so dang cute!
Glad to see you're back to blogging again. :) I'm so glad I got to see you again while you were in Utah, and I could totally tell a difference from the first visit we had to the second one. But just so you know, even though you have an awesome life, it's okay to sometimes feel sad that you don't always get what you want when you want it, especially when the things you want are such righteous desires. I don't think it would be normal to never feel that way. I'm so glad you're feeling better, though, and I hope you get all the things you want SOON. :) Miss you!!!
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